Meyler's New Predictive Algorithm Creates Pitch Books for Hedge Funds

Meyler's New Predictive Algorithm Creates Pitch Books for Hedge Funds

April 1, 2016 New York – Meyler Capital today announces the launch of its new Bland And Boring Basic Language Emitter (BABBLE®) platform.  The tool is able to combine key industry words and phrases in random order to create marketing deck summaries, sales call introductions, press inquiry responses and even Twitter updates at the touch of a button.  Crafted with no attempt at being distinctive or gaining reader interest, the output is virtually identical to existing human-generated content.

BABBLE® comes fully configured with an extensive 12-word dictionary that easily covers the vast majority of alternative investment vehicles.  Although the complete list of words and phrases is proprietary, users can be assured the list includes industry staples such as ‘risk mitigation’, ‘alpha generation’, ‘asymmetric return profile’ and ‘idiosyncratic exposure’. 

According to Meyler CEO Kyle Dunn, “People in our industry have been sounding just like each other for years, and using considerable time and energy to do it.  We’ve developed a mechanism to eliminate all the work yet still produce the same ineffective copy containing tired phrases which have little impact.”

An expanded EXTRA™ (EXtremely Tired Rehashed Adjectives) BABBLE® version is available for cutting-edge firms that need additional specialized vocabulary to describe their unique investment strategy.  Fully customizable, it allows users to expand the internal dictionary by up to 4 (four) additional words.  Meyler offers on-site training to exploit the 33% greater communication power offered by the enhanced version.

With BABBLE® now automated, Meyler is focusing development efforts on two other communication avenues in the alternative investments arena.  The upcoming beta release of its PDF® (Poor Deck Format) tool will quickly expand even the smallest amount of meaningful content into a user-selectable 30, 45 and 60-page volume with no perceptible increase in the amount of information gained by the reader.  In addition - and currently slated for a 3Q release - Meyler’s cutting-edge Stealth Web® service will easily surpass the current industry standards for website conformity and lack of engagement.  Stealth Web® will offer a wide array of strikingly similar graphic treatments, static images, and tedious copy – all working in concert to ensure a completely forgettable website encounter.  The lack of any discernable branding will be complemented by the extremely limited visitor data collection and complete lack of tracking functions that most firms enjoy today.